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read more of me at: http://claritee.wordpress.com

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random wedding stuff

Only 16 days to my wedding…

I am rushing to get the guest list done. Haiz… all my fault for not doing it earlier.

Haiz…

My weighing machine died on me yesterday… when I stood on it, instead of showing me how “light” I am, it wrote ERROR… maybe I have lost so much weigh that even the weighing machine is unable to detect my mass anymore… I now float instead of walk cos I am so light… keke…

I gotta get everything done ASAP so that I can sit back and relax and just concentrating on looking pretty…

I feel like im doing an overall makeover now, for my big day… detoxing to lose weight (have successfully managed to shed 1.6kgs so far, just after 4 days), using miraeca cream so that while I lose weight, I wont become an airport runway, and using mior on my face and body so that my pores will become smaller and my skin will glow!! So im like having a head to toe transformation!! Woah!! I just need to settle my guest list now…


And babe, I know u cant view multiply, so these are for you…

FIRE

i've never been more fired yup, felt more alive then these few days... These few days i've been sitting at the edge of my chair, calling and contacting whoever i can think of... my heart seems to be thumping out of my body... and i feel like crying or giving myself a slap on the face for not waking up earlier... so now i have to 临时抱佛脚. :( but really these few days must be the most exciting days i've ever had... really stretching myself to the limit... im not used to it... i wonder how many more days i need to tahan... definitely not for the weak heart... but nothing feels better than knowing i have given my best...

these few days i literally eat, sleep, think, breath, sleep BAR... yesterday night i dreamt of me cheonging for the bars again.... thats the 2nd night in a row... i've never wanted anything so bad before... for money, for recognition, for HK disneyland, for a changing point in my life...


yes, for a changing point in my life... :)


to my team of comrades cheonging with me... bros and sisters, especially 宝贝，辛苦了!！
加油！加油！Fighting GO GO!!

Adious... :(

Aiiii... I am so so so sad today... As they say in chinese, tian xia mei you bu san zhi yan xi (there are no relationships that wont come to an end)... Today is FF’s (my neighbour in office) last day at YRS... Though im sad that she is leaving, im at the same time glad that she has found a better job, and most importantly, she will be nearer to home (whiere I think she will be much happier) after she has spend 7 long years in singapore...


I remembered the first time when I heard that there is a new colleague coming to our office, I was rather excited... Cos our dept has been small, just me, colleague and manager... And so the expansion of our dept came as a very exciting news... I was curious, especially on how her character would be, and wondered if she would click (then I have company) or click with my other colleague... And so when I heard news that she is the descendant of the very famous bao gong, I thought that the chances of us clicking would be real slim cos I think she woyld be like her ancestor, the very serious, very no jokes kind of person... When she finally started work, I found that she is indeed the very hardworking type... And though she joins us for lunch, I think we didn't talked much...


Till the stupid office movers shifted my table and I was seated at the empty desk next to my old table, and she moved to my old table (meaning to say she sits just next to me)... I dunno how or when it started but we began chatting over the piles of papers on our tables, and we started chatting non stopped... I think we chatted so much if office that our manager cannot tahan and hinted us subtly to chat lesser and work more... In fact in our aid to chat lesser, we have actually mastered the technique of communicating without speaking!! :)


I just need to turn to look at her and she would know what I wanted to convey... Sometimes we will turn to look at each other at the same time and burst out laughing... Or I’d laugh and she will know exactly which email im reading... Our colleagues were commenting that we are like sisters, cos indeed, we both have the same pink nelgene water bottle, we both carry red bags and sometimes we turned up in office wearing the same colour...


I dunno whether she heng or sway that we morphed into such good friends/buddies/sisters/colleagues cos she said that before she moved over to sit beside me, she used to dislike snacking... And now she will sometimes have cravings for potato chips and she has been seen munching on chocolates, biscuits... And now she even thinks that high heels are more comfortable than flats!! And she blames it all on me... :(


Anyway, my dear fren, jiemei, colleague, sis, if u are reading this, I will sure miss u a lot a lot lah... There will be no one to laugh with me when we hear weird noises... There will be no one to ask me to cool down when I am pissed... No one to pet with me (u know wat I meant... And the rest of u dun think the crooked ok??)... No one to ta bao vegetarian food with me... No one for me to complain to... No one to share toto with... No one to talk to lah... :(


And I wanna thank you for everything you have done for me... Opening the back door for me when I was late, take water for me, make tea for me, accompany me run errands etc etc... The care and concern and love you have showered on me... I am really very happy that I am able to have a good fren like you in my time in YRS... And I always thought I will leave before you... But you beat me to it and left me here alone withstanding the sandstorms of time...


Please take care of yourself... Weather there is cold now... Don't fall sick again and don't miss us too much. Log on to your msn everyday and chat with me... I will continue to feed ur mouse as often as I can... I actually hope that u will choose to shuttle between sgp and roc so that we can meet when u are in town... But of cos I know that is not a practical choice...


And u must must must die die MUST come back for my wedding... Come back days earlier so that u have enough rest cos u are going to be my jiemei for that day ok??


Bye babe... I will miss u and bless u in my heart always... Thanks for being a very true friend... Muacks!!

GONG XI FA CAI

As CNY draws near...

And everyone is in the CNY mood...

And the office is flooded with hampers...

And nobody knows what to do with the remnants of the hampers...

And your colleagues start to get creative...

And you are on long leave...

This is what will happen
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



morale of story: dont take long leave during CNY... hahaha
i hope fen is not reading this... :P

**

i got a CNY card that was sent all the way from germany... my first CNY card from an ang moh...



**

my room is finally packed... not too bad... i managed to do it all within 3 hrs... express room packing... meaning to say it looks neat in appearance but DONT open the drawers and cabinets... keke...

**

HAPPY CNY, PEEPS!!

GONG XI FA CAI

WAN SHI RU YI

XIN XIANG SHI CHENG

HUAT AH!!!

Pre CNY

Tomorrow is CNY eve but I don't even have a tiny weeny “CNY feel”... Which explains why my room is unpacked... My study desk is so cluttered I cant see the desktop anymore... My wardrobe is still in a mess...


And I only have half a day left to transform my room from messy to speak and span... Actually come to think of it I dun think its really necessary to pack my room also... Last year I have to packed because net was coming to my house to bai nian for the first time... And that was the first time he will see my room also... So this year no need to pack my room already cos he already know how my room is in its usual state... Hahaha...


And I have not got any CNY clothes yet as well... I don't intend to get any but seems that mummy has been nagging me to go buy some new clothes everyday... I told her for what?? Not that we are superstitious and in the past when I didn't buy CNY clothes, she never nagged at me... So I asked her why she is so insistent that I get new clothes this year and she said: wear new clothes more refreshing mah... Don't wear old clothes go people’s house to bai nian... And I retorted that but I wont be going anywhere to bai nian this year mah... And she replied: u will go net’s place to bai nian mah... Dun wear old clothes there... Not nice... And then I know she is afraid I will go bai nian to my FIL in slpppy old clothes... I think mummy is worried that I wont be a good “daughter in law”.


The other day o was telling her that I was thinking to get something for net’s father and family, but dunno what to get... Yesterday, she called me out of the blue, and said she’s at NTUC and she saw this gift set, a can of abalone and a can of sharksfin and asked me if I want to get it for net’s family... I asked her how much it costs and she told me its about $55... So I told her that I saw a gift package at shell, consisting of 1 can of abalone, 1 can of topshell and 1 can of buddha jump over the wall that is about $52... I asked her if she see any gift set like that in NTUC (thinking that NTUC will be cheaper than 7-11) and she said yes, and that costs $40+... I thought the latter was a good deal cos its cheaper and we get more things so I told her to get the 3 can set for me and she insisted that I get the abalone + sharkfin set cos its looks more presentable... The items are “better”... I reasoned with her that buddha jump over the wall also very presentable mah and she said: don't be a cheapo. Im getting the abalone + sharkfin for you. and then she hang up...


Tomorrow I will be having my reunion dinner at 2 homes... 1st with net’s family, then with my own... First time in my life I have to pao tai from one home to another for reunion dinner... But I guess I have to get used to it... :)

Wedding Dolls

Happy 4th day of the new year!! after excessive partying and eating and drinking, we are finally back to reality, back to work... and the next public holiday is a month away... Soooooo loooong...


hope i can get some luck here... Anyone knows where i can find these dolls??


they are from precious moments... dolls, not figurines... i remembered i bought a pair for Xuan for her wedding... but that was years ago... I went to almost all the precious moments stores in singapore but all dont have... :(


Any precious moments fans out there who might know?? thanks a million!!


once again, happy new year, guys!!!!!

Our ROM

Finally finished my ROM post... :)

**

So... The big day we’ve been waiting for is over... Actually not exactly true... After our ROM there is a bigger event, which is the day we will hold our customary ceremony and have our wedding dinner. Guess we’ll take a break for now to enjoy the festives before we gear ourselves up for the BIGGER DAY preparations... :)


12 December 2007... In POV, the number 12 signifies grace, and so 12 12 signifies double grace. :)


The night before, I went to do manicure and pedicure straight after work. And believe it or not, that was the first time I did mani and pedi. I was so paisay when the manicurist asked me: you didn't do manicure for a very long time already issit? In the end I did french manicure for my hands and normal pedicure for my feet. I would say that they did a decent job on my nails but I wont patronise them if I ever wanted to do my nails again. I waited a long time for net to come pick me up, as well as for my nails to dry. Luckily FF and sally were there to keep me company. And FF bought a 1.5kg strawberry cheesecake from marriot for me. So sweet of her. Thanks, babe.


After net came, we rushed to the airport to pick max up. Yes, max is finally back after 2 mths in the middle east. And after that we went back home to prepare for the following day. Mummy was so happy when she heard there was cheesecake. We sort of had a mini celebration, net and my ROM and max’s return. :)


happy ROM to net and me... :D
note the writing on the white chocolate... guess who wrote it?? keke


The actual day (12 Dec): I woke up at 7 in the morning (even earlier than when I need to work) to call a vendor from US. And after that despite trying to fall into lumber land again, I am just unsuccessful. So I decided to start packing for my ROM. :)


At about 10.45, net came. We went to collect our hand bouquet, which is very pretty. When annie (the florist) told us how she will design our bouquet, I couldn't visualise what she was going to do and was a little worried that the outcome will not be nice. But how wrong was I. She has given me exactly what I wanted!! A small simple yet beautiful bouquet that can match my flowy yellow dress. :)


my lovely bouquet of flowers...


The weather that day was drizzling. It was drizzling all the way from my place to our BS. Net says drizzling is good cos rain = water. But not too big rain else it will spoil people’s mood. So a drizzle is good. When we reached our BS, our make up artist was busy with another couple, so I went to change into my dress first while waiting patiently for my turn to make up. My make up artist was a guy. This is the first time a guy will be doing make up for me. I was a little doubtful initially as I didn't read much comments on him on the forum. But he turned out to be very good, and very 细心. Jes (my was there to see how he made me up and gave comments like what hairstyle suits me better. Initially he wanted to bun up my hair but jes said that I will look nicer if my hair is in curls. It matches my dress better. So he curled up my hair again.


in the process of styling up my hair... :)


As I only began my make up late (as we were waiting for the elson to finish the couple before us), by the time we were done, it was already 1.30. By then EQ and kiwi have called us several times asking what time we will be there, the guests have already arrived, which made me so kan jeong. By the time we arrived at RTC, think 80% of our guests arrived liao. Haha. I told net we must be the only couple that the guests arrived before the hosts. Luckily our solemnizer has not arrived.


So we hurriedly took out the guest book and did some coordinating (which wasn't much cos our good bro kiwi has already helped us settle most of the stuffs) with the RTC staffs on the music and the marching in. about 10 mins later, our solemnizer, mr phang arrived. And soon our solemnization ceremony began... :)


I’ve been to a couple of ROM ceremonies and by far, I think net and my solemnization is the shortest. Within 5 mins, all was done. Short and sweet. We were not asked to stand up, face each other and pledge to each other, and no kiss the bride too. Haha. Anyway, I think our solemnizer also made the whole ceremony very light hearted and memorable in a way, caused his pronounciation cannot make it. Especially when prouncing net and my name. Was so funny we were giggling throughout the ceremony. Keke.


giggle giggle... :)


After our ceremony, was picture taking time. Pictures after pictures. I told someone (I cant remember who), I felt like a star and her reply was: today, u are the star. :) the food at RTC was nicer than we expected. Thumbs up for the apple crumble, potato salad, and the mushroom pie thingy (gerald had 5 of them!!). The brownie sucks but the rest of the food were quite alright. We didn't eat much during the buffet and by the time we really had the chance to eat the food sent to our room, the food was cold. :( I stood so much my poor feet were aching terribly in my 4in heels at the end of the day. Luckily I can soak them in the jacuzzi pool.


Yep, net upgraded our room to a jacuzzi suite. So we have a jacuzzi pool and sauna room in our room. In order not to “waste” the jacuzzi and sauna, I actually woke net up in the middle of the night at 2am to go sauna then jacuzzi then sauna then jacuzzi all the way till 4am. Net regretted so much that he said he will never book a jacuzzi room again. Keke.


me by the pool... :)


Night time, we watched the movie enchanted at cineleisure. It was a very romantic, full of love movie. A very suitable movie to watch right after getting married. Keke.


We woke up early the next day to use the jacuzzi pool again. Keke. After settling the bill with RTC, we went to DG to return our ROM dress and suit, then its off to orchard for my birthday present shopping!! We shopped a total of about 6 hrs. we went LV (at taka), Coach, Gucci, Fendi, Dior and finally LV at hilton. And I finally decided on a dusty shimmer pink gucci wallet and a LV bag . Oh ya, and the service at hilton was so so much better than the service at taka. Was over my budget a little but my paymaster says OK. Keke. i felt so happy, so abundant. I never am willing to spend so much to get a bag or wallet for myself before. My poor legs were screaming that I abused them again.


it was love at first sight with this wallet... the moment i saw it on the display window, i knew im gonna get it... :)


and my LV bag... took me a long long time to decide on this eventually... cos cant decide whether i want the damier, or epi leather, 25 or 30... keke...

We ended the day with dinner at mr beans (my treat to my hubby... Keke) and then went to collect our ROM photos from eric, our photographer. :)


And this is the special day of my life, where I became mrs sze. :)



**

And many thanks to all of you who has given us your blessings and well wishes... thanks thanks... :)

p/s: all pics of my ROM are on my multiply... :)

Merry Xmas

merry merry xmas, my dear friends...

may all your wishes come true!! :)



im still halfway through writing my ROM post... i know its about 2 weeks since my ROM but am really tied up lately, and its a long long post... i wanna take my time to write it so i dun miss any details... :)

8 days...

Yes I know its been uber long time since I’ve updated my blog.


Hmmm... Just don't have the mood to blog or do anything. Keke. I guess im in the wedding/holiday mood. Keke. Cant imagine, 8 days later, I will be considered by the laws of Singapore, married. I can no longer classify myself as “single” when filing the maritial status in forms. I will have to move from YWD (Young Women Division) to WD (Women Division). I will be termed Mdm Peng or Mrs Sze (both sounds so old). And instead of my life, my ups, my downs, my dreams, my vision, my goals, they become our life, our ups, our downs, our dreams, our vision, our goals. :)


Till now, our ROM preparations have been smooth sailing. I have chosen my ROM dress. Initially I wanted a white or off white short gown but in the end I’ll be wearing a yellow flowy dress, which is very special and sexy. Keke. Will be going for fitting this Friday. Will try to see if I can take some pics. But then again, I think I want to keep some suspense so that everyone will WAH when they see me on that day itself. Initial impact ya know? ;)


Flowers are more or less settled. Called the florists to confirm our order just now. It will be a bouquet of white roses and urm cant remember wats the name of that flower with babys breath. Have requested for golden ribbons to match my gold coloured shoes. Am going down to the florist to choose the ribbons on thurs. :)


Found my perfect pair of shoes as well, at aldo. Perfect pair of strappies with “diamonds” coupled with the perfect thin silletoes with the perfect height (think its 4in tall). Though they don't have my size in silver and that's why I have to settle for the gold ones. But net and I think that gold matches my dress quite nicely too. :)

the perfect shoes... :)


Everything at the our solemnization venue has been confirmed, and the person in charge has been most kind. Initially I was kind of worried the actual turn out was more than what we budgeted for and the room we booked might not be able to fit. But now all have been settled and im glad that so many people are coming to give us their blessings!! I feel so loved that so many people are coming to shower us with their blessings. What more can I ask for? :) and Max will be back in time for my ROM as well and also my dearest “ka chng” (cousin) flying back australia with her 3 precious princesses the day before my ROM. So she will be coming too!! :) :)


8 more days.. in anticipation...

The ONE

Net and I dated for about 7 mths before he proposed to me and this dec, we will be together for 1 year. When I disclosed news that im getting married, many of my friends were surprised that we are planning marriage so soon. I always tell them: you don't need 2-3 years to know if the person is the one for you. if he/she is not the one, even if you are together for years doesn't make a difference cause he/she still will not be the one you want. If a person will change for you, he/she will do so within the first few months. If he/she is not willing, they will still be the same after 10 years.


But how to know if your partner is the one? When I went for Hanxuan 老师’s POV, a couple told me that they wanted to know if their partner is the one for them. And that's when I realised how do we know if our partner is the one for us. In the past when someone asked me how do I know if net is the one? I told them, you will just know. You will feel it. I couldn't put it better in words then, but now I do.


How do I know that net is the one??
Well, actually I do not know. When we first started, I wasn't even sure if I wanted a committed relationship. After getting in and out of the love game (I broke several hearts, and my heart was broken several times as well), I was really tired of having to go through the process of having to get to know someone, then realised that he is not what I expected to be, and all the quarrels and finally the break up. Net’s entrance into my life is actually totally unexpected cause the last thing I wanted back then was to get myself trapped with yet another relationship. Though I was happy when I was with him, but at the back of my mind I was always thinking: are we going to work out? Is he serious about me? Should I be committed or should I treat this as a non committal relationship? Hence, I didn't even dare to introduce him as my bf. When he sent me off to the airport, I introduced him as my “friend”.


With these questions in mind, I went to Taiwan for my 1st POV with Hanxuan老师. During one of the group exercises, I shared with my group that I think a relationship is a hindrance and will trap me of my freedom and time. I also shared that I don't know whether Net is the one for me. My group leader told me that I first have to make a commitment to the truth, to Net, to true love. And when I am committed, when I get back to Singapore, I will find my true love waiting for me, the person may or may not be net. If net is not the one, then my true love will appear. But I first have to have the willingness to make a commitment. And at the same time, I will not be trapped by the relationship. Instead, I will enjoy true freedom. I also realised why I never had happy relationships in the past because I have fear of intimacy, fear of commitment and lack of self worth. So when my relationship gets too good, or too close for comfort, I will do something to destroy it cause I feel im not good enough and to keep a safe distance.


And how true it is. When I came back to Singapore, I somehow just knew that Net is the true love for me, the one for me. In net’s words, he felt I wasn't committed to the relationship before I went Taiwan, but he decided to give me some time. And when I came back from Taiwan, he felt so much love from me, and that was when he felt that I was truly committed to the relationship. :)


If not for POV, I think I wouldn't dare to commit to him and eventually he will leave me cause he don't feel my commitment, or we will end up as flings. Haha.


So how do we know if our bf/gf is the one for us? First, we have to commit ourselves to the relationship. Do not expect your partner to commit first. We have to first commit. He/she will feel the difference when you are committed and if they are the one, they will commit too. If not, then the 2 of you will part on a good note, and your true love will come eventually. :)


For net and I, I think most importantly, we are both committed to our own healing and like with this, I am not afraid of anything that comes our way because no matter what big storm or big wave approaches us, we know all we need to do is to search within ourselves and heal. :)

Halloween

Nowadays when im bored, i like to take pictures on my hp and then add funny effects using the PhotoDJ application in my phone.


Since today is halloween, let me present some halloween pictures for your viewing pleasure...



me the kitty...



ace the prince of pirates



sis the angel...


and lastly,



max the mama shop owner...


HAHAHAHA....


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

hair

I got so sick of my long hair lately. If not for my big day, I would have snapped them off already. So most probably you will see me with long hair for another 6 mths and then its bye goldilocks.



bye bye long hair...


I already can imagine how light my head will feel. Maybe I’ll get an instant 1-2kgs weight lost. Haha.
And all the shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, treatment, water, time and money i’d spend to buy hair accessories I’ll save with short hair. ABUNDANCE!! And I no longer have stay up at night to wait for my hair to dry. I miss my short haired days. I’ve been keeping my hair long since 2001 which means ive been having long hair for 6 years le. Its time for change!!



i'll probably look something like this with short hair...


The other day I was asking net if he did think about how his wife will look like before and how much do I match his imagination. He said he imagined his wife to have long hiar, big eyes and all so I am quite a close match. So I’ll fulfill his dream of wedding a long hair wife... But only on the wedding day itself. Hahaha.

counting down

Less than 2 months to my ROM... How exactly do I feel now??

Nervous?? - Not really
Excited?? - a little
Looking forward?? - Yes, very much. Not so much of looking forward to the ROM reception itself as ours is going to be a simple affair but more of looking forward to life being mrs net officially... :)


Most of our preparation for our ROM is more or less done, so now all I need to do is to wait patiently and make myself pretty on the day itself. :) lets see...

Wedding bands (checked)
ROM venue (checked)
Solemnizer (checked. Mental note: remind net to call mr phang again nearer our date)
Invites (via sms or by mouth. Thinking if we should get some proper invitation cards... Checked)
Outfit for the bride (waiting for my BS to ask me down to choose my dress, which should happen next mth. Checked)
Outfit for the groom (dunno wat he wanna wear. But guys easy to decide de. So shouldn't be a problem)
Ring pillow (we have one from Lee Hwa which is complimentary when we bought our bands. But I find that pillow a bit ugly. Thinking of whether to get a new one)
Bridal bouquet (will settle that probably one week before the actual day)
Outfit for the parents (will go shopping with mummy one of these days. Probably wait till dec when all the sales started)
Photographer (still thinking if we want to get one. Otherwise will get sis to take pics for me. Anyone out there know any photographer who is cheap and good??)
Meet the parents session (planning in progress)

I think this should be all we need for our ROM right?? Hmmmm... Counting down... 54 days to go. :)

bizarre

was woken up by the sound of the alarm at 5.30 this morning. i was in the middle of some very bizarre dream but boy, it felt so real. so bizarre and real that i remembered thinking in my dream the happenings of the past few days to justify that the scenario in the dream couldnt be happening.


i woke up feeling strange and realized the space beside me. where is he? i got out of bed and went around the house. he's not in the bathroom. i took a peek at the carpark, his car was gone. i went back to bed thinking where is he. has he left or maybe he wasnt even around in the first place. maybe i went to bed alone yesterday. the realness of the dream has made me confuse with what is reality at that moment. i felt as though i have woken up into another dimension, where all we knew is untrue, which reminds me when i was young, whenever im unhappy, i'd go sleep and hope that when i wake up the following morning, i'd be in a different time space and all the unhappyness is just an illusion. but of course i never succeeded.


instinctively, i reached for my 4th finger. the ring is still there. i looked at the far left of the room, the bouquet of flowers is still there as well. so im not in dreamland after all and im not in a different dimension as well.


slowly, i climbed back to bed and snuggled myself under the blanket and tried to get back to sleep again...

the story of net and clari...

Last night, net and I were discussing about our relationship 10 years ago. Yes, as many of you may have known, we dated once in 1996, when we were still donning BDS uniforms... Every time we talked about our relationship then, we’d laugh. Sometimes we think that god up there is playing a trick on us and decided to let us go one big round before we found each other again. But no matter what, we thanked god for letting us meet again. We thanked god for putting us through all the ordeals we went through in the past 10 years so that we will be ready for each other when we meet again. We thanked god for letting us meet at the right time. Had we met 1/2 a year earlier, I think non of us would be ready to commit in a relationship. :)


Most of our sec sch friends will already know our story. one of net’s friend, after hearing our story, commented that it is like a romantic korean drama serial. So I have decided to document our story down, in as much details as I can remember... (warning: this is a long long post)


**way back into 1996, in the classroom of sec 4A of BDS**

1 week after the release of the ‘O’ level results, news has been spreading that our class might have some new students. Some ex-students might be coming back to re-study their O levels in school and will be posted to our class. And true enough, about a week later, we have 2 new classmates, bert and net.


Before they joined our class, I already knew the both of them by face and name but we never really spoke. Bert was because he stayed near me and I see him on the way to school every morning. Net was because he used to be a prefect and he was quite notorious then. Keke. :)


So they were in our class for a few months and I still seldom spoke to them especially net, cos we were sitting at different ends of the class. Didn't pay take too much interest in him as well until one day after school, EQ and I were at my place....


Me : I think my life is very dull and boring. Must find some excitement.
EQ : what excitement you want?
Me : I wanna find someone to 暗恋. The trills of secretly liking someone and trying to let the pereson be attracted to you. But who should I 暗恋??


So EQ and I went through a detail screening for a list of candidates that I can 暗恋.

EQ : what about net?? He is a good choice.
Me : Hmmmmm...


And so my project 暗恋 begun...

I started to find chances to talk to him more. During physics lessons (where he is sitting behind me), I’d pretend not to understand how to do the experiment or what Mr P was teaching and turn behind to ask him. EQ also at the same time helped me fished for his information (like was he attached at that time, his phone number). Sometimes we’d call him out on the pretext of studying for our prelims together.


Over time, what started out of fun became real and I was really infatuated with him. I remember there was one day I was at EQ’s place and I was flipping through a magazine and there were some features on wedding gowns.

Me : wah, so pretty!! I wanna get married!!
EQ : to who??
Me : 我要结婚了 but 不是嫁给你!!
EQ : haha. I know to who

I actually forgotten about the above scenario till recently, when I was flipping through the style wedding magazine with net, looking for a nice gown. And I smiled to myself thinking, all these must be pre destinied. :)


And so months later of trying to get him to notice me was successful! I remembered one fine day I was telling him that I wanted to go to the interchange to buy some furry hair ribbon (that was the trend then) after school and he offered to go with me!! And so off we went after school and he even sent me home after that. Was that our first date? I think so. And from there, gradually we became a couple, or we go steady. Hahaha. We’ll meet up to study for our ‘O’ levels together, and we’ll be on the phone every night. When I went 1st mths in SRJC and he started working, he would pick me from school whenever he can.


We were together for about 7 mths. We broke off just before we entered poly. And that was when we ceased contact of each other. Occasionally i’d hear news about him from some of our common friends but that is just it. Even when we bump into each other in poly, i’d pretend I didn't see him. And when we see each other in gatherings, the most we’d say: hi and bye.


Until Seng and Yilin’s ROM. We didn't speak to each other initially. It was only during lunch, we were seated at the same table, and we started chatting and suanning each other. Then the guys planned have a part 2 celebration that night at MOS. So in MOS, under the influence of alcohol, we chatted more and laughed more and played all the silly games. He initially wanted to go off halfway to join his friends at MOMO. I persuaded him to stay and he did. :) when we finally left the club, he offered to send us home. I was the last to drop off and before he left, we exchanged numbers.

Net : im having a headache
Me : are u ok? Still can drive? You should have gone home straight.
Net : no problem. :) sms me when u are home ok?
Me : I don't have your number.
Net : its 9XXXXXXX. Remember to sms me ah.
Me : see first lah. Anyway don't worrt lah. I more worried about you.
Net : you not giving me your number?? Though I still remember your house number.
Me : don't bluff.
Net : really. Its 6XXXXXXX right?
Me : my god. Ur memory is really good!! Ok, my number is 8XXXXXXX.


And with that, I left his car and we began to sms each other frequently till one day I asked if he has msn and we started msn-ing each other.


Then we went for our first date at marina for dinner, then to vivo city for movie. during the dinner, though the place we dined wasnt a vegetarian joint and he could have ate meat, he took vegetarian with me. after we finished the food, i went to the ladies and when i went back, he told me we can go anytime. i asked him to ask for the bill first and he told me he has settled the bill (which i felt is a very gentlemanly gesture). After the movie we chatted in his car all the way till 4am. 2nd date to hougang to eat ramen. Then he had to go australia for 1 mth. While he was there we chatted on msn almost everyday. Sometimes I’d purposely stay in office to wait for him to come online. Waiting for him to log on at 5+pm is like a daily activity. Till he was back in Singapore and because he was clearing his leave, he offered to send me around to run errands. 1st time was to tampines, where I tried to get my camera repaired at best denki. But because best couldn't do it and so I had to bring my cam to panasonic building. And so on the 21st Dec, I took half a day leave to run errands and he very kindly offered to be my chauffer for the day. We went around Singapore and not once did he complain. I just told him where I want to go and when I was busy with my errands, he just waited patiently. Sometimes I just asked him to wait for me and I dissapered and not a single word from him. Seriously, I was very touched. :)


After running around singapore for half a day, we were tired and decided to go catch a movie to rest our tired legs. After movie, we had dinner and he asked me to join him with his friends at clark quey. I was in 2 minds, but eventually agreed cos he said: if you come with me, I can tell them that you need to go off early and I need to send you home and we can leave early cos if I were to stay, they will make me drink alot.


So we went to the pub together and his friends were surprised (from the look on their faces I can tell) that he brought a lady along. They were playing games and drinking. We were sitting on the sofa and cos I dun want to sit so near his friend, I sat closer to him. And he placed his arm around me, as if to tell his friend not to get too close to me. Haha. When we left at around 1am, on the way to get the car, he held my hand. And the rest, like they say, is history.... :)




The end

achievements...

Last weekend, we were asked to write the numbers 1 to our current age (for me its 1 – 27) vertically, on a blank piece of paper. And then beside every number (age), we are supposed to write down our achievements, or anything that happened that made us happy or felt good. This was the first time I did an exercise like this and for the first 5 mins, I can only write 2-3 events. My mind was blank, I never achieve anything much in my whole life. Much less to say 1 for every year. That's tough. Even at the end of the exercise, most of my years were blank.


Seeing that how most of us had difficulty in doing the exercise, Yanni jie then told us that we are always so hard on ourselves. We feel that we will need to accomplish something very great in order for it to be considered an achievement. And we always forgotten all the good things that happened in our lives. But if we were to write all the bad things or mistakes we had in our lives every year we can write 3 pages long. Haha. How true. But in fact, every little thing that we achieved is an achievement!! (like dating 2 girls at one go... Well, that's an achievement... Not everyone can do that... keke)


And when we were sharing our achievements later, we all had a good laugh. When we start to look at things from a different angle, we realised that life is not as bitter or bad as we keep thinking it to be.


I think this is a very good exercise. Especially for me cause I used to always think Im quite a failure as in all my life, I have never excelled in anything, I did not win any medals, my school results were horrible. But after this exercise I realised that hey, im not that bad after all. So I decided to complete this exercise. And if you have the time, try it too!! You will feel different after completing. :)


1 – I can walk
2 – I can talk
3 – I always get ice cream treats from big aunty
4 – mummy’s friends all say that im cute!! They say I look like 林青霞
5 – got my first barbie doll (I can still remember its called day n night barbie)
6 – learnt how to do gongyo (the front part)
7 – I was chosen to play the lead role in my kindergarden graduation play
8 – walked home from school myself
9 – learned how to swim
10 – participated in my school’s story tell competition and got 2nd prize for 3 consecutive years (guessed who was first prize)? / was chosen to play the lead role (princess) in my school play
11 – chosen to be the narrator for my school play (im the only P5 student while the rest are all P6 students)
12 – was my form teacher’s pet (while others have to stand for forgetting to bring their books, I received no punishment)
13 – took part in SEA games opening ceremony performance / took part in chingay procession
14 – I got the most flowers on valentines day in school / My band participated in the SYF outdoor com and we got bronze / went to Sarawak with my band for performance / got into best class
of the level
15 – represented school in inter school chinese recital competition / chosen to host my school’s CNY competition / promoted to play 1st clarinet / got into best class of the level
16 – managed to get net to go after me (yes, we were together once 10 yrs ago... But this is another story by itself) / got my music badge in band / promoted to staff surgent in my band
17 – started my first tution stint / paid for my poly school fees myself / retook my o lvl english and got B3 (from D7 to B3)
18 – bought my first pager with $$ I earned and paid for the bills myself / first and last time I went to a night club (yes, those with gals and mummy one!!)
19 – finished watching jap serial G.T.O in less than 1 week / finished reading 2 comic books in a day
20 – bought my first HP / got my first FT job pay cheque / got my diploma / got full collection of Mc Donalds Hello Kitty
21 – participated in NDP / was cleared for CAT A security / got drunk on Vodka cranberry
22 – 1st time 1 bet world cup and won $$ / got involved with a violent person and I managed to tame him down
23 – did sales and managed to increase sales volume of my company / boss got a personal assistant to help me out
24 – changed job and boss offered to increase my pay by 30% to make me stay / someone committed suicide for me
25 – 2 man fought (I mean real fighting ok) over me at a pub / won free HP by nominating sis in most beautiful mum to be contest / sent my pic to a CLEO contest and got shortlisted but I didn't go for the audition
26 – attended SCS / got into Arete in my first interview / became GC 2 weeks after I decided to do the biz / someone offered to give me $500 just to kiss me / QQ attended SCS / met net again (got him to go after me again) / went Taiwan for POV
27 – getting married / received my first GIVE bonus / sponsored mummy and daddy to POV with sis / EQ attended SCS


So you see, life’s quite good and exciting after all!! :)

Tagged

Oh no... Ive been tagged by Veron... Urm... Being the very sporting me, here goes...


RULES:
* Each blogger must post these rules first.
* Each blogger must start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* Bloggers that are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.



1) I don't know how to ride a bicycle. Ok, laugh at me all you want. Nobody taught me how to ride a bicycle since young and as I grew up, I became more and more hum chee and so I never learnt the skill. Actually I did learnt once. And I managed to ride successfully. But after that one time I didn't practise and so I lost the skill again.


2) I was very quiet, timid and shy as a child. I was so quiet that when I was studying in kindergarden, the principal asked mummy if I was deaf and dumb because I don't talk at all. There was once I dropped my handkerchief and a teacher came into our classroom and asked if anybody has dropped their handkerchief. I recognise that it was my handkerchief but I didn't dare raise my hand or say its mine. In the end the teacher only knew it belongs to me when I started crying.


3) My name is an inspiration from the instrument I used to play. I was from the band and I played the Clarinet. And I was very into the clarinet very much at that time. When I started working, I wanted to get myself a name that is easy to pronounce and call. So I asked my sister what name should I give myself and she said: since you like the clarinet so much, why don't you call yourself clari? I taught the name was nice, and at the same time unique, so that's how I got my name, clari.


4) I used to be a brave little soul. When I was 3, I’d walk around the house in the dark when everyone is asleep. But as I grew up, daddy started renting horror movies and after watching the horror movies, I became a scardey cat. Now I dare not walk in the dark alone.


5) I like the smell of a lighted matchstick. I like to watch the flame on the matchstick fizzle out and the trail of smoke that follows. Which explains why I like to play with match sticks and fire. :)


6) I have a bad habbit of “cracking” my knuckles such that they will make the “cracking” sound that your joints will make when you go for thai massage. I can turn my head and my neck cracks, I can crack my ankles. Hearing the “cracking” gives me a sense of satisfaction.


7) My pet hobby is to help net 挖耳洞. And I get angry when he cleans his ears himself. Hahaha. When I managed to dig out a big piece of ear shit (or whatever you call it, I feel a sense of achievement. Pity my ear doesn't get very dirty very quickly like net.


8) when I was in primary school, I used to do my school work really sloooowly. I am always the last one to hand im my accessments. I can never finish my work on time and always have to bring home to write. I can never finish my art on time as well. Anyway, I sucked at art. Since pri school, all my arts and craft homework are masterpieces of mummy and sis. Most of the time I am only involved in the colouring.

There, 8 things about moi... Who I wanna further tag...

1) Power
2) Liming
3) Sis (I know veron tagged you also... So you MUST do... haha)
4) Lorraine
5) Faith
6) FenFen
7) Grace
8) Everybody reading this now!!!!


Finally done... Phew... Pls don't tag me in future, ok??

parenthood training

Net and I had a taste of parenthood on last sat morning. Mummy has to work that sat and daddy is fetching her there, max and sis are having a rendevous night out at a secret hotel they dun wanna tell us. So Net and I have to take care of Ace while the rest of the family are away.


Ace woke up at 5.30am. Mummy left work at 7. So only ace, net and me were left in the house. Both net and I were tired. But ace was energetic. We tried to rock him, bluff him to sleep but didn't work. In the end we just left him in our room and we slept. I slept on the inner side or the bed that is facing the wall and poor net was on the outside, so ace took his magna doodle and asked net to draw something every 5 mins or so. Or he would take something from the table and pass it to net.


At 9+, daddy came back. And we were relieved, but only for a short while. We were sleeping happily with no disturbance when we were suddenly woken by daddy screaming: EEEEEEE... 大便!! Ace 臭臭!! 快点去找 ah yee!! And I was like “$%^&#^!! Why must look for me?!?!?!” So we were woken up again and daddy insists that I have to wash up ace because he is going marketing and left. So net, me and a smelly ace were left in the house again.


So I had to bring ace to bath and net took off his clothes and diapers. And ace’s shit is damn smelly. And because most of the time he don't really chew his food well, we can see bits of undigested food in his shit. YUCKS!! So it took both of us, both net and I to bathe ace. Basically net was holding on to ace so that he dun run around and I was the one doing the dirty job of wiping the shit away, cleaning his ass. My first time cleaning shit was given to ace... Boo hoo hoo. After bathing him, we changed him and decided to bring him out for some breakfast.


We went to parkway and had BK breakfast. Basically ace was quite 乖 that day. He did not ask us to carry him when we put him down and told him he has to walk and he gladly gave us his hand to 拉拉. Sometimes he even insisted that both of us held his hands when we walk. After breakfast, we bought him to a big pet shop at marine parade and he was happy to see so many fishes and small animals.


ace learning to use the fork n knife...


He will point to the fishes and say: fish
he sees the puppy labrador, he points to the glass and say: dog dog... Woof woof
He sees the rabbit drinking water and he says: rabbit 喝水
He sees the rabbit sleeping and he says: rabbit ooi ooi
He sees the ginue pig and say: cat cat. Meow meow.


Haha. After the pet shop, we passed by a playground with lots of kids playing and so we decided to let him play there for a while. I think ace is very happy to see so many little children he ran here, ran there and shouted. After sometime, we decided it was getting late and time to go home. Once in the car, he slept soundly all the way home. We guessed he must be very tired since he woke up so early and walked so much. But the moment he reached home and I placed him on the mattress, he woke up jumped around again. But by then, daddy, grandma were home so we sort of handed him back to them. Keke.


i am king of the playground!!!


Just a morning with ace and both of us were shagged out. Net told me at night that his arms were aching from carrying ace. Haha. Its really not easy bringing a toddler out cos you have to be very alert and on your toes and make sure u can catch up with them when they suddenly run off. You have to think of ways to entertain them so that they sit quietly on the chair while you eat, you have to make sure they don't fall or get pushed or knocked by other kids while at the playground. Similarly, you also have to make sure that they will not push or knock other kids, or worse, fight with other kids for the swing or something.


And I realised that when I brought ace out, I didn't prepare any extra pampers, I didn't bring any jacket (he was wearing a singlet and we were at a shopping centre and the air con is quite cold. Im not sure if he is cold. But I guess not :p). But all in all I think its good training.


When the 3 of us are walking, net told me that a lot of people looking at us. I told him they must have thought that ace is our son. Net said: but he don't look like me at all mah. me: that's y they look mah!! Kekeke.


***

oh ya, HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY TO ALL WHO THINK YOU ARE STILL YOUNG OUT THERE... ;)

thankfully for POV

If we have not met POV, I would have threw my ring back at him and ran off last night... At least that's what I will do in the past...


But because we understood what is happening is a reflection of our inner self, what we are feeling is to cover our fear, I am able to feel my feelings, and feel his feelings and together, we took a step forward towards interdependence, towards oneness.


Thanks, POV... I know this is god’s way of letting me discover the fear in me so I can heal myself. And I am grateful. :)


And I love you, baby... I re-choose you again, and commit myself to love you unconditionally.