i wish weekends never end...

Weekends were a blast again. I really wished that we can have 48hrs a day on Saturdays and Sundays.


Sat was a special special day. Planned a day of activities and surprises. I hope my hardwork paid off and all my surprises that I planted along the way did their work though there were a few hiccups along the way and i dun really that see that "surprised" look. Sometimes its no fun to have the person know you too well cause they sort of like can read your mind and they can guess what to expect next.


Went to terz’s place and met up with all my BDS kakis again. When a gang of BDS people gather, you can be sure its gambling time. I can still remember how our classroom will transform into an illegal gambling den after exams. And everybody from all the different classes will come to our class to gamble. And its there and then that I picked up how to play Si Ki Pit, pairs, in between and Dai Dee. Saw a lot of long time no see frens as well and the most long time no see person there must be Qian Yi, our school belle. We have lost contact for at least 10 years, since poly days. And she was still the same. Still so gentle, soft spoken, so sweet, so demure and of course, still as pretty. I can say she is like the dream gal of every guy. Really a 玉女. Even im smitten by her. Chatting with her makes me feel that im very chor lor and very lack of feminity. Haiz, and I told myself I must learn to be more feminine. But the thing is I cannot imagine me being feminine at all. Its just not me and im not the only one who thinks so. :(

me: I was chatting with QY just now and I have decided that I am going to be more soft spoken, more gentle and more feminine, like her.
net: (sinister laugh) u sure or not??
me: ya. Good mah. I think all guys like feminine gals right?
net: forget it lah, you can never make it.
me: 他妈的!! (smack tap him on the shoulder) you very unsupportive leh.
net: you see, you see?? TMD come out again. I think you should start by stop saying TMD first.
me: ni nehneh, 你看不起我对吗?? Nevermind, lim peh will show it to you.
net: faint...

Kekeke.


Went to ai wo restaurant for dinner as well and that place is highly recommended. They have vegetarian menu there and what I like best about their food is that their not too oily, not too rich. Despite us wolfing down a big piece of cheesecake and feeling super full, we still managed to clear the almost all of food we ordered. And we were fully satisfied with the food and the service. :) the settings of the restaurant is not bad too!!


Ended the day with a MJ session and won $2. Seriously winning $2 after 2 hrs of game is not really the most productive way to make $$. Haha.


**

Sunday – Lao Yu Sheng again. I have till now, laoed 6 times of Yu Sheng for this CNY. How to not huat lidat?? :p And we had steam boat again. I ate non stop for 3 hrs. the person sitting beside me was staring at me in disgust disbelief. And every time I turned to him, he will show me the 甘拜下风 hand sign. Because of my 3 hr lunch, I was full for the rest of the day.


Went down to Ikea at Tampines. Think the best thing about the ikea there is the free parking. Found some of the stuffs that I wanted to get for my room. After going one entire round, I found myself wanting to get a drawer cabinet, a cloth stand, a new computer table, a study desk and a mirror and that is as good as changing 80% the furniture pieces of my entire room. Keke. But somehow, I felt that Ikea at Alexandra has more designs. Hmmm. Think will head down to ikea again this coming weekend. Am seriously thinking if I should spend the moolah to revamp my room. How long more will I be needing that room??

**

Going for a 3 day POV tomorrow. And this time it will be conducted by Ms Hiromi, who is one of the 4 master trainers. I am going to emerge a newer, lighter, shinier, more radiant and a more full of love clatzz. :)


Will be going to Dreams Inc chalet this weekend. Will be a night of fun, food and madness. We will be having a BBQ too. Seriously I have never tried vegetarian BBQ before but well there is a first time to everything, right?? Just like in the past I used to think if you wanna eat vegetarian steamboat, then you might as well dun have steamboat cause what ingredients are there to add?? But I was so so so wrong!! Just mushrooms alone is enough to make u spoilt for choices. There are button mushrooms, portbello mushrooms, shitake mushrooms, golden mushrooms, bai ling mushrooms etc... Im sure this BBQ will be the healthiest BBQ I ever had!! :)


So there... Another week of fun filled excitement and love... :)


P/s: I am supposed to have my final theory tomorrow. I cant reschedule my test date. So I think I will make a mad rush down to the driving centre to take the test. I have only touched 4 pages of the book till now. I need all the luck I need and also a pair of wings so I can fly to ubi all the way from tanjong pagar.

And stay tuned for pictures I’ve taken over the CNY. I promise I will load them. Soon... Really soon :)

happy CNY

Hey hey peeps, Happy Lunar New Year!! I had to most unwillingly drag myself out of bed this morning, after 4 days of fun and laughter and food and gambling. Yep, I had lots of fun, lots of food, lots of love (but not so much ang pows) this year. Definitely one of the best new years I ever had and I can already sense that the year of the boar is going to be a fantastic one for me. Always trust the 6th sense of a woman. Haha.


There are loads of stuffs that I wish to update but over time, they snowballed and I got more and more things that I wished to leave a mark here and in the end, I don't know where or how to start. So.... Where should I begin??


Lets start from 1 week back... To save the agony of my fingers (need to conserve their energy during this CNY period for greater events like mah jong, dai dee, bun luck).


13th n 14th FEB ~ POV

Another 2 days of POV. Before I attended the course, I wrote a list of questions that I want to be resolved during the POV and im glad that I have all the answers I am looking for. Mum, sis and max went for the course as well and im really glad they did cos mum, sis and I got so much closer.


On the 2nd day of POV, after one of the segment, I went to give mum a hug. We hugged for a very long time and I just cried and cried. I cried for not appreciating mum and not showing/telling my love and appreciation and gratitude for her. I always thought that by working hard, by giving her some monthly allowance, I have done my part of a filial daughter. I always argued that I have no time for her because im working so hard and its all for the sake of giving her a better life. Well, “technically” that is correct. And this is what most of us tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better that we have done our part. But is that what mummy wants? Is that how she felt appreciated? No. too many times we have been moulded to do the “right things” as prescribed by the society. And me too. I knew that ever since I 懂事, I have never hugged mummy before. So my first memory of hugging mummy was when I just attended SCS. and that POV was the 2nd time. On the first day of CNY, when I woke up, I saw mummy in the kitchen. Very naturally, we hugged each other and I wished her a happy new year. Again, this is the first time in the 26 27 year of my life that I wished mummy happy new year with a hug.


After wishing mummy, I went to daddy and gave him a hug from behind and wished him happy new year too. I don't know if daddy was shocked. Cos if I seldom show my love for mummy, then I showed even lesser of it to daddy. But I felt happy. In fact, the day after POV, before I went to work, I told daddy : thank you for taking the effort to make juice for me every morning. I said it loud and clear and im sure daddy heard it. But he didn't response and sort of like pretended he never hear it. Then he quickly picked up the box of FP on the table and told me he will take one box of FP from me and he hasn't been taking FP regularly.


When I told sis about what I did in the morning and how daddy reacted, she told me that dad was in a super good mood that day. :)


During the POV, during one of the exercise, I saw myself standing in a corner of an empty room, feeling very lonely and unhappy. And I was looking at myself from the outside. And that was when I realised how little I love myself all these while, how little love I give myself all these while. And if I cant even love myself, how do I give my love to others? And I also know why I am always doing things or making decisions that will hurt me or cause me pain. Because I don't love myself at all. And I promised myself that I will start to give myself love, shower myself with attention. I will set aside sometime for myself and just me and myself only to do whatever I want.


During the POV, I also finally let go of the guilt that I have been carrying in my heart all the while. The guilt that I felt towards certain relationships of my life. I knew they are there but I hid it to the bottom of my heart and locked it so that nobody can find it and I can continue to feign knowledge of their existence. And at this POV, I finally have unlocked them and left them at the seminar room. And it so happens that COINCIDENTALLY, mummy was sitting beside me during that segment. And when I was letting go of my guilt, she put her arms around me and kept petting my back. At that instance, I felt a warm force or energy, a warm force of light, of love passed to me. Yes, what can be stronger than unconditional love from a mother?


After the 2 days of POV, I walked out another new me. I felt closer to mummy, sis and max. I also felt closer to daddy, though he never attended the course with us. But I felt that I finally understood how he felt for the past 20 over years in his life. I used to be angry with him for his bad gambling habits, and blame him that it is because of him that our family cannot lead a better life. But I never once stood in his shoes and felt what he is going through till at POV. And I felt I shouldn't have blamed daddy or even be angry at him cause I finally understood what he was going through. And only at that instance, I am truly able to forgive him. With another set of baggage left behind at the seminar room, I am one step closer to the direction of true love.


My only regret is that daddy and net were not there to attend the POV with us. But nevertheless, I believe like what net says, there will definitely be a chance. :)

**

Went to do an iris scan for myself on last Friday afternoon, after my company lunch. Let me digress a little. We had lunch the American Club. It was an 8 course lunch and my vegetarian dishes were served separately and surprisingly, the vegetarian food they served there was very nice!! Especially the vegetarian yu sheng. There are actually fried golden mushroom (my fav!!) inside the yu sheng!! And the appetizer dish was very nice also. I had steam dumpling and vegetarian gou bu li bun. It was super nice. I ate so much that by the 6th dish, I was already full.


After the lunch, I went to suntec to have my iris scanned. I scanned my iris once at the end of last year and my body was not as healthy as I hoped it to be. So I did a detox before the CNY and decided to scan my iris again when I ended my detox last Friday so that I can see the difference. And indeed, I can see the my colon is improving. The first time I scanned, it was very contracted. This time round, though my intestines are still contracted, but I can see that they have widened and even. Areas where were more infected by toxics were also lightened. Im glad to see that my body is improving for the better. :)


And this time, I lost 6KGs in 6 weeks from the detox!! Super happy!! Will be starting a post CNY detox with net in march cos I told him that I will do the detox together with him to support him or is it he accompany me. Haha. Anyway, after our detox in march, we will go scan our iris again.

**

I finally got one of the items from my wish list!! :D :D A red I pod nano!! A very very very pleasant surprise although I already sort of guessed that I would be getting a nano. Keke. He asked me to guess what he got for me and I told him to give me some clues. He said I can ask him 3 questions and my 3 questions are:

Is it something that needs to be charged??
Is it something that I already have and am using but this one’s a newer, better and nicer version??
Is it red in colour, produces sound and I can use and carry it with me wherever I go??


Keke. Aint I smart?? ;)

**

Spent my entire sat (CNY eve) at home doing spring cleaning. My room and wardrobe is neat again. Im keeping my fingers crossed when it will get messy again.


During the process of my spring cleaning, I found some long lost items which I thought has disappeared from the face of the earth, I found some antiques which I think should be donated to the Singapore museum.


I did a count and I have 22 pairs of earrings (minus those that were lost and not so lucky to be found and those that I threw away) in total. Net was exclaiming why do I need so many pairs of earrings as I only have one pair of ears but I told him that I only had my ears pierced about 2 years ago and considering that I have 22 pairs of earrings only, I think its considered very little!! Cos on the average, I only buy a pair of earrings once a month! That is not a lot mah. Keke.


I’ll be re painting my room, still finalizing on the colours, and will be going down Ikea to get myself a clothes stand, a drawer cabinet, a full length mirror and if budget allows, a computer desk and study desk. Am thinking of getting wall papers to paste on the doors of my cabinet so that they can get a new look as well. :)

**

This should be enough updates. Will blog more when I have the time. :)

its that monday post...

I was so unwilling to come to work today that when dad woke me up this morning, I was wondering why is he waking me up so early on a Sunday morning. And then I got pulled back into reality when he told me its already 8. And I remembered I have shitloads to do today as I will be on leave tml and on wed for POV (YAY!!) and I better get my ass to office early. :(


Just “purposely” misplaced the receiver of my office phone cos its irritating to have the office phone ringing and ringing when im having my lunch. Don't people know there is something called lunch time?? Anyway, am in a rather anal mood now.


Yesterday I broke record and sat still for a freaking 6 hrs. for someone who cannot even sit still for a 1.5 hr movie, that is quite an achievement. Was at the salon to perm and colour my hair and the whole ordeal lasted me 6 hrs. and my only entertainment throughout was sms-ing from net. Fell asleep a few times and tried to meditate as well but its almost impossible with the dong dong chiang CNY songs and hair dryer blasting in the background.


By the time I left the salon, I felt that my bum must have expanded by 2 inches from all the sitting and pressure asserted on them. Haha. Thank god the driver came to fetch me to YT’s place. Cos im really tired from all the sitting.


And when me and yvonne meet, we can really talk. Yesh. We talked for abt like 5 hrs. but I really miss chatting with her. We would chat non stop in office last time, so actually yesterday’s 5 hrs is nothing compared to then. Haha. I left their place at 1+, which explains why im so tired today. Keke.


Alright something brighter to brighten the Monday....


Tomorrow’s and wed’s POV!! Need to thinking what I want to achieve out of this POV and what are the problems I want to settle tonight. I think its really great that I’ll be attending this POV with sis and max and most importantly, momo.


I think im going to get a surprise this week, most probably thursday. How do I know? Cause somebody piu chui. Haha. We were talking on the phone and out of the blue he suddenly mentioned the word surprised.

me: what surprise?? Why u out of nowhere talk about surprise?
him: nothing.
me: what what what??
him: no lah. Nothing la.

Haha. Im anticipating what is it. Later in the day I asked him: actually u piu chui abt the surprise right? And he gave me that smile which tells me I hit bulls eye. Haha.


I can enjoy clean, oxgenated and energized water on the go!! Yipee!! I do not always have to carry a big bottle of KV6 water whenever I go out. :D :D :D


Ken and Michelle’s ROM. I seriously hoped I can make it in time to be their emcee. But nonetheless, I see that they have invited a lot of out poly friends. I sure have loads of catching up to do!! :)


And lastly, of course, CNY is coming!! :D

the big clean up

Reached home at 11+ last night and since there were no more VCDs to watch, I decided to spend my time on something more constructive, that is to clear my room. I decided that if I dun start doing bit by bit everyday, I will never have the time to spring clean my room. And so I spent about 2 hrs clearing my room. And within that short 2 hrs spend, I cleared a big load of rubbish, and most of them are not mine. I would have loved to throw away more stuff (not mine as well) but I was warned not to throw them away.


I am the type who throws everything away. Whenever I am packing my house, I will dump a pile of stuff to the “to throw away” corner and momo will be there saying: this one cannot throw, still can use. This one still very new, can give other pple, dun throw.


Like yesterday, while clearing one of the drawers, I found a big plastic bag of pens. And I threw the whole big bag into the “throw away” bag. Momo and sis asked me: the pens still can use one leh. U want to throw away ah. So I told them: this bag of pens was in this drawer for god knows how long. If I didn't clear the drawer today we wouldn't even know there is a bag of pen here. Seriously, if u need to find a pen now, will you go search the drawers for a pen or will you go and buy one?


Mum always says sis likes to keep everything (takes after yeye) while I like to throw everything. I guess its good this way ba, at least there’s a balance. Or else our house will be full of stuff liao. :p


***
(helping my frens to do some promo)

CNY is coming!! have you cleaned your home?? have you decorated your place to usher in a year of wealth, prosperity, health and happiness??

Liven up your home with the CNY at atmosphere with hand made handicrafts!! From beautiful Ang Pow baskets to lanterns.

I have seen their works and their handicrafts are truely very pretty and very good workmanship!! and prices are reasonable too!!

And other than CNY ornaments, they do self made accessories too!! necklaces, rings, earrings. woohoo!!

check them out NOW!!

***

Valantines' Day is coming... Wont it be great to put a smile on that someone special's face? and the best way to do it? SAY it with FLOWERS. and wouldn't it be good if you do not have to pay escalating price just because its V Day? Here's a place you can get a beautiful bouquet of flowers at the same norm prices!! I've seen the florists at work before. their flowers are really very fresh and their decoration is pretty and yet special. so it wouldn't look like the normal bouquet of flowers everybody else is holding...

p/s: if a gal says she don't want flowers on V Day, let me tell you she is lying!! Even if she don't fancy flowers, sending her a bouquet will definately bring a big smile to her face.

***

Dong Kee Liam Gua

Yesh!! We finally finished watching winter sonata!! Yesterday sis and max decided to finish the last few episodes of the series at one shot. And I finally teared while watching winter sonata yesterday. Way way back while the winter sonata craze is in singapore, I heard so much review from frens that the show is very touching, they used up a lot of tissues watching the show. But throughout the show, I didn't find any scenes so touching that can make me cry. There are only scenes that made me so dulan that I swear. :p


Till yesterday... I just cant stop the tears from flowing down my eyes. I laughed so hard I cried. Haha.


We were watching the last few episodes and at some point, max got so frustrated he started spewing in hokkien (see, I am not the only one who got dulan watching the show). And so I said: u trying to do translation in hokkien ah??


And so me and sis tried to translate their conversations in hokkien but failed. So max took over and it was sooooo funny sis and I laughed till our stomachs ache and we were both tearing. Super funny, I tell you. Especially with all our bua tang zhui (half bucket full) hokkien standards. Especially funny were the translation of the names:


You zhen’s dad, Xian Xiu ~ Max didn't know how to translate Xian Xiu and sis said is Kiam Siew. I heard wrongly and I thought she said its Kiam Siap (hokkien for selfish).

Jun Xiang, 俊祥 ~ yandao Xiang

You Zhen, 有珍 ~ Wu Zhin

Xiang He, 翔赫 ~ Xiang Ho


A dialogue when Xiang He’s father was telling him the truth about Jun Xiang became like this:

俊祥不是先贤绣的儿子, 他是我的儿子!! becomes: Yandao Xiang mmh si Kiam Siap eh gia, ee si lim peh eh gia!!

既然俊祥心里还有有真, 有真心里也还有俊祥, 他们因该在一起 becomes: ki ran Yandao Xiang sim lai bin wu Wu Zhin, Wu Zhin sim lai bin mah wu Yandao Xiang, ee nang eng kai zo ji pu.


I think we can start translation services in hokkien already. Max told me: imagine you translate to hokkien in SCS. I told him if I do that, I will never need to serve as translator ever again. Haha.

things to do before the CNY

Its about exactly 2 weeks to CNY. And I dun feel the new year mood yet. Just that everywhere I go, I hear CNY songs and I find them very irritating. Especially when im out shopping. Seriously, the CNY songs dampens my shopping mood.


Ahhh.... But there are so many things that I need to do before the New Year. And I don't want to take anymore leaves cos I have already taken 5 days leave this month for POV. I need some time management here... I need to:

Re organise my wardrobe. Those who have seen the state of my wardrobe will know that this is a huge project. No easy feat ok.

Spring clean my room. Also a big project and no easy feat as well. Think I need to get some cabinets from ikea to store my pdts, my books, my bags.

Paint my room to my lucky colour. Has booked an unwilling painter liao. :p But seems like all weekends we are busy. Think might have to do this after CNY.

Change my bed sheets and curtains. Have to go buy bed sheets and curtains liao.

Accompany momo to go CNY shopping.

Help momo spring clean the house.

Do something to my hair. Should I straighten or perm?? Should I cut my fringe or keep it?? Any suggestions?? And also should I colour my hair?? Am thinking of dyeing it copper red or something with pink base.

Shopping for CNY clothes.


Hmmm... Time to do some time management and planning...

POV

I think its about time I blogged about this...


As most of you might have already know, last December, I went to Taiwan to attend this course, called Psychology of Vision (POV for short).


I dun think many realised but I hit a slump end of last year. I was unhappy with a lot of things happened and I had a lot of frustrations and grouches inside me which made me feel trapped and angry with life. And the worst thing is I dunno what im frustrated or angry about!! I went into 逃避 mode. I made myself very busy, going places but im actually doing nothing. Nothing productive. On the outside I am still the normal smiley me, but inside, I wasn't happy at all. Very often when I reach home, I will lock myself alone in the room (on the reason that im tired and I don't want ace to mess up my room) cause even playing with ace is unbearable. And I dunno what I can do to get myself out of that depressed state. I’ve tried different methods but they only elevated my emotions temporarily.


Till I went for Dr George’s session at KL and saw Richie, who has just attended 4 days of POV. Richie looked different. He looks radiant, he looks full of love. His words, his actions all radiate love. It probably sounds exagerating or mushy in words but this is how I really felt and this is the best description I can put down in words. Rich told us that there will be a POV in Taiwan for 2 days and encouraged us to attend. I was in 2 minds initially. What can I gain from this course?


And only till the short session that I had with Rich after we returned to Singapore, did I made up my mind to go for the course. That was about 1 week later and 1 week before the course. Rich asked me what I am unhappy about and that sets me thinking seriously. What am I really unhappy about. And WHY. I knew what I was unhappy about. But I didn't know the root of it or what I should do. So I decided to attend POV, to get my questions answered.


When we first reached Taiwan and while waiting for nick and the rest at the airport, Rich gave us a preview of what to expect from the course. He told us it will be a boring course, and not to expect any ra ra. Seriously, I was a little scared inside. How will I react?? Will I be emotionless again?? I really don't know. But I decided not to think too much about it and just go with an open mind.


The first day of the course, when I saw 张老师, she is so loving, so full of love. Nick teared the moment he saw her. When the first focal point was chosen, when he was sharing his problem, I didn't feel a slightest trace of emotions. But when he was at the part where he was accepting his father, I broke down. I never realised that I actually am needing recognition from daddy. Although I know daddy loves me deeply with all the things he has done for me but he is never the type who will ask me how I am faring in school, what course I am studying. I realised that I actually yearned for this recognition, this love from him so much since I was a child, which contributed to my sense of self worthlessness. But I have to accept it and let go. Because its not daddy’s fault. He probably is looking for recognition too which is why he couldn't give me any. Ye ye probably never gave him any too.


All in all, throughout the 2 days of POV, when every focal point relate their problems, I always think: this one doesn't relate me. But I was always hit at certain point and was hit the most at the most unexpected part. Through that 2 days of POV, I learned so much about myself and I learned to let go so many things. By the end of day 2, I felt truly happy, truly free, like a 6 yrs old child. All my questions were answered and I understood know why I fear commitment, why do I keep attracting the same kind of people into my life, why do I fear success so much, why all my relationships always ends up unhappy, why do I keep rejecting love and what I am running away from. Of course to heal these takes time and effort. But at least now I know where the root of my problem is and how to heal it. And with this, I have promised myself to give unconditional love, and not to fear commitment and success anymore. And yes, my life has been improving ever since im back. :)


Sis says that my face used to look :( when I sleep. But after I came back from POV, one day she walked into my room while I was asleep she said I looked less un happy. And I also told her about me needing her recognition. Something which I never realised I did. But im glad I told her. Cos we shouldn't be shy to ask for help.


If you ask me what is the best course I’ve attended in my life so far, I will say its POV. Because once the soul is healed, there is nothing we cannot do or achieve. And that is the state of true happiness. Isnt that what everybody is looking for? Happiness??


Am going for another 5 days of POV this month. I Cant wait. :)