movie reviews

Movies reviews:

(do not read further if you wanna watch these movies)

Miami Vice

This is the most boring action movie I’ve ever watched. I actually dozed off twice during the show. I don’t usually fall asleep in a show. That was how bad the movie was. The movie looks like it was shot on a really low budget. So bad that they couldn’t afford Gong Li a make up artist. Either that or they are saving up on the cosmetics. Gong Li looked so plain in the movie that I didn’t realise that the woman was actually her till I saw her name at the end of the movie.

The plot was bad too. The ending sucks. The meanest, baddest mafia got away. His ka gia all got killed in a mass shooting. In the end we don’t know how the mafia got info on the police’s activities, which is the objective of what the 2 guys are supposed to investigate initially.

And the intimate scenes are not steamy at all!! The only steam I can see is the steam from the hot shower on both scenes. The scrip writer lack creativity. On both scenes it shows the guy bathing and the lady will push open the door/shower curtain.

The only time where I felt awake and refreshed during the show was the 5 mins that I went to take a toilet break.

Maybe the show is not as bad as I described to be. I probably missed the best parts while I was asleep and when I was in the ladies.



The Banquet

5 mins into the show I was telling my friend: wah lau, this show si beh arty farty leh. And I was begining to regret a little on choosing the show. The show began with a sibeh slow and pai tiah and poetic song. Im sorry but I dunno how to appreciate sia. And I have to suffer the song together with the dance (I dunno how to appreciate as well) more than once throughout the show.

Zhang Ziyi’s make up look hideous at times. White foundation, blood red lipstick and red eye shadow. Is that the ‘in’ look way back in ancient China? If yes, then sadako is born at the wrong time. They would have branded her as a chio bu and not a 怪胎.

The bloody scenes are too gory for my liking as well. I like to see kung fu and sword fighting. But I don’t like to see how the blood gushes out, how it is splattered on the wall. Probably it is done so to add a touch of artistic feel to the movie but to me I felt that the director just wanna waste some time and film so that the show can last for a good 129 mins.

The pace of the movie is slllllloooooooowwwwww. So super SLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW that I was checking my watch to check if the show is ending. The only indication I have that the show is ending was when the first main character (Qing Nu) died.

Lastly, I after finishing the whole show, I still have a big question mark in my head:

So who killed Zhang Ziyi??
Some momo hiding in the pond??

**

moral of the story: do not to watch a movie for the sake of watching. Its an utter waste of time and money. I rather spend the 1 hr + doing something more constructive.